And I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do. Michael: We found ourselves on the less prepared side of things when Stanley had his… when his heart went berserk. Michael: Okay, you know what? That could be a little confusing, because in sales A-B-C means “always be closing.” Dwight: This is a farce. Okay? And hat stands for… airway, breathing and circulation. You are going to sit in that wheelchair until you are back on your feet. Stanley: I'm not sitting in a wheelchair. Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people… But the doctor said if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings I'm going to die. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true. Michael: Nobody should have to go to work thinking, “Oh, this is the place that I might die today.” That's what a hospital is for. Do you want that on your conscious? Michael: Do you? David Wallace: Michael? Michael: You talking to me? David Wallace: Yeah. He could have died, because of the way that you are allowing your office to run. One of your employees had a heart attack. David Wallace: Michael, you have to take responsibility here. Michael: And we should take a part of his pay and donate it the charity of your choice. Instead, what I think we should do is strip of your title as safety officer. Michael: Can you shove down? Instead… shove down, please. David Wallace: Look, this is very serious offense. We are not mad, we are just disappointed. Dwight: And, well, I don't see my co-workers– Michael: Take heed of. Dwight: N-no one would take hedded of my instructions. Hedded Dwight: When no one hedded– Michael: Take hedded of.
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I shouted many things! I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building, so you can imagine my frustration as safety officer when nobody would heed of what– heeded– Michael: Hed. Lawyer: Did you shout, “Fire!”, causing a panic? Dwight: Yes I shouted “fire!”. And he should be released from the hospital and back in the office in a couple days. David Wallace: You could have burned down the whole building! Dwight: I just want to say for the record, I did not kill anyone. Jim: Michael! Michael! Michael: Leave me al– Andy: You're choking him! Michael: Saving him!ĭavid Wallace: How could you possibly think this is a good idea? Dwight: A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time. Jim: No, no, no! Don't give him mouth to mouth for this! Michael: He's going to swallow is tongue. Michael: No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth. Angela: What is that? What is that? Andy: THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US!!! Phyllis: What in the name of God is going on?! Andy: Yes! Yes, ba– Yes, battering ram! Battering ram! Phyllis & Creed: Ahhhh!!! Andy: Go, go, go, go, go!! Michael: Help!! Help!! Stanley: I'm about to die! Dwight: Attention everyone! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. Pam: What do we do? Dwight: Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making. Dwight: What's next? Angela: Oscar! Oscar: Stay alive! I'm getting help! Angela: Pull me up! Oscar: You're too heavy! Angela: I only weigh 82 pounds! Uh– save Bandit! Oh! Dwight: How about 911? Anyone? 911. What are the options? Okay, that's the wrong way. Where do we go folks? Wha– Use a what to cover the mouth? Angela: It's okay. Get out of my way! Dwight: Calm, please Andy: Get out of the way! Dwight: Have you ever seen a burn victim? Andy: Move it! Dwight: Okay! Procedure, procedure.
Stanley: Leave it, woman! Michael: Get out of the way! Go, go, go! Dwight: Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however, can… Oscar: Ah! My hand! That's hot! Andy: Aah! This ones hot too! Michael: Okay, we're trapped. No bunching! Phyllis: Oh! I forgot my purse. Dwight: Okay, what's next? Michael: Don't run! Dwight: Oh! Here's a door. Michael: What does warm mean? Everyone: Oh my God.
If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway. Michael: Everyone, now f*cking calm down! Dwight: No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. Dwight: What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure? Michael: Stay f*cking calm! Dwight: Wait, wait, wait. The smoke could be coming through an air duct. Dwight: Oh, how did that happen? Kevin: It's out in the hall. Today, smoking is gonna save lives.ĭwight: Does anyone smell anything smoky? Angela: Did you bring your jerky in again? Dwight: Pam: Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God! Phyllis: What– Andy: Whoa, fire! Dwight: Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people? Pam: The phones are dead. People learn in a lot of different ways, but experience is the best teacher.
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See also: Full transcript on Dwight: Last week I gave a fire safety talk.
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